August 24th, 2011

Furries in Dan Savage's latest column

Over the years, furries have been mentioned a few times in the columns of sex-advice writer
Dan Savage. And here's the latest (August 24, 2011):

Q:

Six months ago, my 17-year-old son told me that he was seeing [insert male name]. No biggie. What troubles me: My son and his boyfriend are "furries" and open about it. The boyfriend is 18 and sweet, but he's clearly the more dominant one. I'm worried that my son may not know how to say no to him. Adding to my concerns: I found a dog collar in the kitchen with an engraved tag with my son's name on it. Dog collars seem like a heavy activity for a lad, Dan, and today I noticed a bruise on his throat that's the size of a collar buckle. How do I ensure he is exploring safely without freaking him out? —Why This Fetish?

A:

Go ahead and freak him out, WTF.

Your son is being open with you about his sexuality — openly gay, openly furred, openly collared — and you shouldn't hesitate to be open about your concerns. You won't be able to talk him out of his kinks, WTF, if they're his kinks (and not, say, a teenage affectation), so focus on the issues: power dynamics and sexual safety. Tell him it's important that he be able to say no to his boyfriend, and let him know that you're there for him if he has questions or concerns or needs a sounding board. Then ask him about the bruise on his neck. Dog collars are harmless — lots of kids and kinksters wear 'em — but if he and his boyfriend are playing choking games with that collar, and that's where the bruise came from, that's a very dangerous activity and it has to stop immediately.

In your shoes, WTF, I would bark at the boyfriend about that bruise too. Furry, schmurry. It's erotic asphyxiation that you should be worried about.